When Bert Hellinger said "don't talk about it" nobody knew, even himself, at
that time, was constellation was all about. It was all too much in the
beginning, people were trying to figure it out
and that¹s why talking about was harmful. The Energy field would vanish
easily with so many questions, so much to ask, the eagerness to learn and
understand and the level went from
the soul to personality.
So he was absolutely right, to my understanding. But as we approach the
understanding of the Field, in a sensorial way, we can now, talk about it,
as little or as much as we need without
disrupting the Field. However, our tendency is to use words to "analyze".
That¹s how we learn and that¹s how we defend ourselves: with words.
But words are also energy field! And if you use the same ones you are used
to "explain things"you are jumping from the silent mysterious way that our
soul understands to words that will "explain"it that is, you must
stopthinkanalyzethink about againchoose the right words againandwhat
about that wonderful silence that puts all into place?
In my groups, we wait a while. Let it sink. If we need to talk about itwe
still do it in a very sacred way. Speaking from the heart. I felt this way
it works wonder.
Thank you Alison, for sharing.
Zaquie C Meredith
www.zaquie.com
(The Consciousness of our Sensations and Constellations: sold at Amazon.com)
São Paulo, Brazil
Hi All,
(Note - SKIP TO "Here are my questions" if you just want to skim this
email.)
I am recently returned from the 7th North American Systemic Constellations
Intensive, which I had the privilege of directing this year. I feel the
expansiveness in my heart as I think about it! It was wonderful. Thanks to
the faculty: Francesca Mason Boring, Dan Booth Cohen, Ed Lynch and Bill
Mannle! And to all who attended and co-created such a beautiful, sacred
space.
My wondering comes out of a Constellation I asked for in my group on the
last day. It was not a personal Constellation in the usual sense, and it
wasn't clearly resolved because we didn't have time.
A few people from that group have reached out to me, and I noticed my
hesitance in talking about it too much. However, the hesitance feels more
like my response to the "rule" that we shouldn't talk about our
Constellations. And so I'm left wondering about the evidence for that
restriction. Or if perhaps I have been misinterpreting, in which case,
perhaps I'm not the only one?
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS / thoughts:
1. We acknowledge that our day-to-day, personal consciousness is not the
main driver of our lives. Constellations clearly reveal that aspects of our
deeper systemic consciousness manifest through _symptoms_ in our personal
consciousness but are usually not seen for what they are in terms of
ancestral roots of trauma, etc. AND even if we do have a sense of their
ancestral roots, talking about it doesn't seem to resolve it. This is shown
by the experience of very slow process of talk therapy, vs. the much shorter
and incredibly effective Constellation healing. So one might say in this
case: talking has very little effect on the larger field.
The one place talk therapy is recognized as effective, though, is when the
talk hits on the deeper roots of an issue. Then we can feel in our bodies,
as in the Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin, that something has resonated and
moved.
2. I also have started engaging in dream work, especially the practice of
"Lightning Dream Work" described by Robert Moss. In this process, once the
dream is presented to a group, participants respond to it with the statement
"If this were my dream..." and they give their thoughts as if it were
LITERALLY their dream. It's quite a special process, as it reveals multiple
facets of what's in the larger field of that dream. The dreamer can then
take what's relevant to them, and is often shown new things they had never
considered. That information, provided not just through the experiencing of
the dream but also through the elucidation of the dream using words, is
quite valuable. Again, it feels like it has the effect of moving something
resonant from the wordless Field into our personal consciousness, which can
be very healing.
The "If this were my dream" has started moving into my Constellation work,
and now when I experience a Constellation that is not mine, there are times
when I talk about it using that language, especially if the seeker is
confused by the Constellation.
Silence vs. Words -
3. On the other hand, there is a clear place for silence. The profound,
sacred beauty of a Constellation often creates its own silence, naturally.
It's a silence that emerges from the movement in the Field. You can also
feel how, if you try to tell someone of the experience, there's a way it can
feel like profanity, as in irreverence or desecration. That contrast between
silence and words makes sense to me in the context of Constellation work.
4. Finally, there is the way I have interpreted / misinterpreted the idea
"don't talk about your constellation" - this is where the superstition part
comes in. I have had the idea (where did it come from?) that talking about
your constellation in the wrong way can somehow undo the healing of the
Constellation. I am noticing that I feel that in my body as an actual fear.
Is that idea in the larger field? Where did it come from? Is it true? Is
there evidence for such a thing.
My thoughts right now are that I have direct experience that shows me that
1, 2, and 3 are true, and my conclusions are that talk can get in the way of
the "sacred silence" that emerges from a powerful Constellation, but not the
healing movement itself.
Alison Fornés
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
alisonfornes.com <http://alisonfornes.com>
