To be cruel is to willfully cause physical or mental distress, pain or
suffering. I would not like to be called cruel. Bert might be OK with it, I
don't know - seems he may redefine or qualify it if so. I think it's actually
the wrong word.
For me, I strive to be straightforward, aware and respectful of my own
boundaries and others boundaries, and not be manipulated into using my tools
inappropriately. Clients don't always immediately like the result which leaves
decisions, choices and movement as their responsibility. Is that "cruel"? I
think it shows respect and keeps my ego reigned in.
Yes, I've seen Bert make some interventions that I would not make, and yes, he
is as likely as any of us to have a blind spot, but I tend to doubt that his
"intention" derives from a cruel streak. He is quite, fearless is the word
that comes to mind.
By the way, I gave a supervision workshop for therapists locally calle, "Blind
spot? I don't see any blind spot!"
all the best, sheila
Stephan Hausner returns to Asheville - March 6-7, 2012!!!
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
"When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child we were and the souls
of the dead from whom we have sprung come to lavish on us their riches and
their spells." -Marcel Proust (In Search of Lost Time)
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: zaquie@xxxxxxxxxx
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2012 20:05:14 -0200
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] rape
Here is my opinion:
I believe you can help a person who asks your help in 2 ways: you can be
gentle and supportive and
create a container of love where they can bathe themselves and feel better
and understand their pain .
This will involve them in a crust of love that will make them feel better if
not about the issue
but about themselves.
But sometimes you need to be "cruel"because that¹s exactly what it is
needed. And this , in turn, might make the client
stronger because he realizes he needs to get out of this dark place by
himself only. Nobody to help.
Nobody to save him. He has to face his truthwhich is also cruelthis might
make him hit bottom. It shakes them.
However if it is clear that that¹s whats needed. You don't do it for
granted.
I am a healer trained in the States and a facilitator in constellations and
I practice both depending on
what I perceive they need from me at that moment. They keep getting better.
And so do I.
Zaquie C Meredith
Www.zaquie.com
S.Paulo, Brazil
From: <anngwyn@xxxxxxx>
Reply-To: <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2012 16:41:25 -0500 (EST)
To: <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] rape
Hello Dan.
Yes, I have seen this cruelty, as well, and also have withdrawn . I
cannot accept that cruelty is an essential element of insight and
truth...however brilliant. There are many other ways to work with painful
material that
upholds a respect for the client's dignity, at all times. In trauma work,
clients are already feeling dis-empowered and we don't want to do anything
to overwhelm and already overwhelmed person. What healing value has
brilliant cruelty if the client shuts down out of fear or shame and
withdraws and
likely has been re-traumatized?
all for now...
Anngwyn
_http://anngwyn.wisrville.org_ ;(http://anngwyn.wisrville.org)
_www.acst-international.com_ (http://www.acst-international.com)
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