I’m with you, Althea, and I wish the emotions around having children or not
having children were just as clear as that.
However, child-bearing or not seems to hit to the core of humanity’s need to
survive or not survive or to believe someone is broken or weak for not
procreating. It’s a common attitude in the world that is reinforced in
religion, commercials, ways people relate – no one throws an infertility party
instead of a baby shower. There is a lot of exclusion of those who don’t have
children and there are blind expectations. Marriages end, people with children
push their children on non-parents, or there are stigmas like she/he is a slut
or a gigolo (I use those as common slang terms not as judgments). There’s more
charge to this issue than “just adopt”.
We can only take the person’s word about what the facilitator said to them and
how they took it in. It’s possible that the facilitator just stated that the
possibility is there, with the dynamics, of not having a child. Part of the
client’s journey is to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that may arise from
that potential circumstance and go into the despair so she/he can move forward.
We have no idea how clients receive the facilitator’s statements as we all have
selective hearing.
But if what was said was true, and there was a confirmed statement that the
client wasn’t ever going to have a child, then that is the facilitator deeming
something that is beyond their own knowing or control, and it can do a lot of
damage to a person’s psyche. The movement would be to work through the emotions
of how the person would feel if they didn’t have a child and what that would
mean for their future.
I wouldn’t want to be judged on my worst constellation. These circumstances
help us to grow as facilitators and ensure we are maintaining a space of loving
and aware presence throughout.
Heather
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Monday, October 12, 2015 7:24 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Questionable practices
Hello Friends.. I have a comment to share on this topic...
I feel that being with what is can be a hard challenge
but when things are beyond our "control" like life usually is.
.we just have to keep our hearts aligned to the greater Love that permeates all
things.
Not everyone gets to make babies..
but there are so many children that need parents..so adopt.
As for the facilitator..we cannot speculate what happened or didn't happen..we
were not there..
And the people who were will get the messages they need in the constellation
form or something else..
I suspect that someone may have need for a spiritual counselor? to help her
thru this challenging perspective and experience..
Who is a good reference?
thanks for letting me give my input..
Alethea Devi, MATP
Alethea K. Devi
Mentor, Teacher, Auntie.
aletheadeviceremonies.com <http://aletheadeviceremonies.com>
aletheadevi.com <http://aletheadevi.com>
"FAITH IS TAKING THE FIRST STEP,
EVEN THOUGH YOU CANNOT SEE THE WHOLE STAIRCASE." MLK JR.
On Mon, Oct 12, 2015 at 3:42 PM, Robert Grant erebees@xxxxxxxxx
<mailto:erebees@xxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> >
wrote:
Hi All,
"So then the important question is am I helping her more if I offer her ways
out of this or if I simply accompany her in that place of despair?
When I look back over some of my moments of greatest despair I can see they
were the moments when the most profound changes happened in me. "
Great point Barbara. Yet despair we do not want, despair we resist. And maybe
it is despair, the loss of everything that is the price of freedom.
Work in progress, letter to myself.
Best wishes,
Robert
On Mon, Oct 12, 2015 at 6:54 PM, Barbara Morgan theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx
<mailto:theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> >
wrote:
I remember one of my Gestalt trainers saying once: it's not what happens that
matters but what happens next.
In any case I wouldn't want to comment on what happened between this
facilitator and client in the workshop when I wasn't present to witness the
whole field but the most interesting part for me is that it was hard for the
client to stay in the place of feeling disempowered and despairing afterwards.
So then the important question is am I helping her more if I offer her ways out
of this or if I simply accompany her in that place of despair?
When I look back over some of my moments of greatest despair I can see they
were the moments when the most profound changes happened in me.
Barbara
.
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