Thank you so much Michael for articulating such important points.
In my work here in Edmonton and Wisconsin where I do a good number of one on
one constellations, I continue to learn to key into the "subtleties" guiding
me, and not necessarily always the surface appearances being heard/seen, in
relation to traumas, especially early in life traumas that are waiting to
release from the mind, emotional body, I find it especially challenging to see
what secondary trauma is blanketing the original trauma (or traumas). I may
share with a client, (if I sense intense and long held traumas, that we may
discover one area of the larger Souls longing for freedom/reconciliation and
that may very well be enough for that particular session. there-by taking it
ever so gently and slowly, letting the subtleties guide.
As we are intuitively engaging with THE FIELD and the Client before we step in
to their SOUL FAMILY we lay the foundation to lessen potential of
re-traumatizing.....In the eleven years of learning, doing, more learning of
this phenomenal way of LOVE moving forward, I have yet to experience
re-traumatizing for my own personal constellations or working with others.. I
would suppose that my own early in life multiple traumas moved me in some or
many ways to firstly become a therapist and then further to lead me to offer
this incredible F.C. work. Traumatized individuals (such as was myself) are
mostly so very fragile and thin skinned that re traumatizing can be quite
easily done to the detriment of all concerned. I appreciate these posts so
much for this reason......Though we are a resilient people, we also are fragile
underneath are coverings that we have put in place to ward off further traumas
so it would seem that gentle kind touches of the
heart can melt the walls of protection before, during, after the
constellation..Thank you, Rita
Warmly, Rita Martino, LMFT
WHEN INWARD TENDERNESS FINDS THE SECRET HURT, PAIN ITSELF WILL CRACK THE ROCK
AND AH! LET THE SOUL EMERGE. -Rumi
"Difficulty draws out all of the depth of tenderness." John de Ruiter
awakeningfamilyconstellations.com
phone: C:780-722-1845
H:780-250-6615
U.S. Contact, Kris Brown(coordinator) 608-780-2483
________________________________
From: Michael Reddy <michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, September 24, 2011 8:03 AM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Re: epigenetics and trauma: And what can we
do to aleviate this?????
Hello All,
I would like to echo Chris's concern about the idea that PTSD and
other trauma symptoms can just suddenly resolve with the right insight
or some resolution in a constellation. I don't want to say they never
could, but they generally do not. I believe Anngwyn St. Just has
raise the same concern about EMDR.
Here's how this relates to our commonly held idea of primary and
secondary feelings. Primary, we usually say, are feelings in response
to real, happening situations, and prepare us for action. They are
healthy and necessary. Secondary are more like mentally based,
recycled feelings that do not concern real current events we face.
They are not helpful and we try to keep people away from those in
constellation work.
OK, but consider this. Neurology seems to have figured out (see
MINDSIGHT, Dan Siegel) that our brain first forms "implicit" memories
which record a great deal but are not accessible yet to narrative or
conceptual processing. That is, they are there, but we cannot yet
tell a coherent story about what happened to us or generalize about
them. Before we an do these things, the hippocampus has to coordinate
a transfer into the form of memory more characteristic of the left
brain called "explicit" memory. Normally, this happens on the spot in
parallel with the laying down of implicit memories. But in the freeze
portion of the trauma response, the hippocampus shuts down and does
not do this.
This leaves trauma victims, whether single-incident based, or pattern
based, with implicit memories involving personal overwhelm that have
not been processed into explicit memory. They cannot talk about them
very well, or connect them with the story of their lives, or
generalize from the experience the represent. And, most importantly
here, when these implicit memories are triggered by similar looking
events--they emerge into the person's consciousness as if they DID
involve real, currently happening threats. That is, they tend appear
to the person to be actually caused by the more or less innocent
triggering events. Or else the person is aware that they cannot be,
and shocked by the strength and inappropriateness of the emotional
reactions.
So I'm coming around to the position that these are a third type of
feelings that are neither primary or secondary as we define those
two. I'm calling them "re-emerging implicit" or something like that.
This is not a mentally induced recycling process going on.
This then brings us to the question of how we deal with trauma victims
in constellation work. In two US Summer Intensives now, I've seen a
kind of divide among participants around this matter. When clients or
reps go into what starts to look like emotional overwhelm, one
approach is "just shut that down and get on with the constellation."
It's not helpful, and doesn't need any attention. That's the one it
seems to me that does not take the possibility of "re-emerging
implicit" feelings into account. The other approach tries to
distinguish between secondary and "re-emerging implicit" feelings (not
always easy) and treats the latter very differently. That different
treatment can range from helping a rep come back to the present and
possibly replacing that person with a different rep, to realizing that
you've opened pandora's box with a client, and shifting the whole
constellation towards resourcing the client so that he or she does not
go away from the experience with a small or large retraumatization.
This is subtle stuff to work with, but seems important. One person
who has written eloquently (if in very long paragraphs) about this in
the constellation context is Johannes B. Schmidt in INNER
NAVIGATION. Or Franz Rupert's work is relevant. It seems to me that
trauma victims need an expanded view from us in order to stay safe and
be helped by what we do.
In addition to our exchanges here, this subject will be open for
discussion during the Oct 4th Free Constellation Call. By the way,
though my signature below does not state the time of this call as
"PM," it is 8:00 PM EST. Based on off-list email questions I have
received, let me alleviate the concern that this is a "teaching
call." Dan Cohen and I try to spark valuable discussions (and usually
do) of different points of view. We don't simply lecture on our own.
Also, for those in the US community, please know that Dan, who is
organizing the US Systemic Constellations Conference next month, will
be previewing the events of that conference on the call on Sept
27th. This conference is important to the growth of constellations
in the US, where we all know it lags. Other topics for the Fall are
listed on my website.
Best,
Michael
Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.reddyworks.com
New Tools for Vibrant Growth
DIAL IN TO OUR FREE, WEEKLY, QUESTION & ANSWER
TELECONFERENCE--THE CONSTELLATION CALL
Q&A on Family Constellations and Coaching
Tuesdays 8-8:45 EST
(530) 216 4363 PIN 650271#
What is The Constellation Call?
On Sep 21, 2011, at 4:36 PM, Kay Needham wrote:
Hi Hania and friends,
It is true Hania that there are two types of detachment re trauma,
and thankyou for bringing attention to this. You ask:
How could you detach from body, mind and soul if that's already
done?! And
connection is broken, sometimes in an irreparable way?...
The PTSD form of detatchment is born out of non acceptance of what
is as it is, it is a secondary state of affairs............
and...........all non acceptance, is actally primarily born out of
attatchment or identification to the body/mind.........effort is
needed. So it is the mind (attachment or effort) that is the
primary issue. It is the mind attempting to detach from itself. The
same mind is trying to detach from itself.
Impossible.......repression is the outcome. Here the person is
looking and moving away from their centre. They are being taken by
"centre fleeing" activity into their periphery and sometimes out of
their personal field altogether to be disassociated, existing out of
themselves. Helping the mind to understand why attachment is there
in the first place eg. loyalty, preservation, belonging is helpful
and the beginning of " acknowledging what is."
Identification is when there is no gap or space between what a
person believes and what he or she is. Being identified with
anything in the mind is to be blind.........usually a state of blind
love. The person is too close, they do not realise that they are
not this belief, they think they are it; they have no distance from
that belief and cannot get the perspective nor understanding that
distance gives. Identification is a state of darkness that can be
all consuming at times but it really is only a matter of turning on
a light somewhere and the darkness disappears. I like Gary's
reference to "Bowing to the LOVE and LIGHT that included BOTH
unconditional love of the brightest knowledge". When we are able to
understand awareness and unawareness as light and dark, no
connection is broken nor beyond repair. It is only ever a matter of
direction of energy flow, and being able to interupt "centre
fleeing" directions that move into darkness.
All life form has a centre and a periphery. The centre of emptiness
or the void or the gap is the locus of control that governs growth
of awareness and light. When we face and move inward we are in a
movement of connection via awareness and meditation. From this
centre we become fully recollected and are able to see that
everything on our periphery is not us. We are able to disidentify
from blind love. We are able to see the difference between the
centre and the pheriphery, the difference between mind and no mind
and the difference between death and deathlessness.
Simply seeing and understanding these differences enables
identification, attatchment and non-acceptance to dissolve. Here
detatchment happens naturally, it is primary, connected to the
centre and no effort is needed.
Kind regards
Sadhana
From: Hania Moser <haniamoser@xxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2011 12:50 PM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Re: epigenetics and trauma: And
what can we do to aleviate this?????
Hello Kay and All
I though to add a remark to what you Kay said about detachment in
healing
trauma.
The idea of detachment as gaining perspective is very close to my
mind/heart/soul, and I try to reach it in my work with clients, when
there
is a place and time for it.
Only having a perspective gives us a space to acknowledge of WHAT
IS, of
reality in us and in others.
But detachment in trauma primarily serves as a pathological symptom
(one of
the core symptoms of PTSD) - as a trauma victim (in most cases)
tries to
survive unbearable
stress/shock by detaching (sometimes called as numbing,
disconnecting, disassociating).
Whatever would be the word of description - detaching/disconnecting
is a
survival mechanism in a state of extreme danger, and for that it's
good - to
serve a life preservation.
What trauma workers face in their work with traumatised people, one
of the
most difficult points, is detachment and avoidance, and a need to
connect
again to the body/soul to heal the trauma traits.
Many of my traumatised clients reported exactly that what you said
Kay "I am
not the body, I am not the mind, I am not this emotion" - and it was
their
way to detach from trauma (before counselling), which entrapped them
"forever" in the trauma ice cube.
In trauma healing - safe, loving connection is the biggest
challenge, and it
must be achieved prior to any moving forward.
People who work in long term trauma therapy would see that for some
clients
it would be never achieved - to find a safe, loving connection with
their
own body/mind/soul. Traditional spiritual healers call that
condition a
"lost soul" (and they would look where that soul, disconnected from
the
body, went to, and they would try to retrieve the soul, which is
connecting
back process) and I like to think about it in these terms.
How could you detach from body, mind and soul if that's already
done?! And
connection is broken, sometimes in an irreparable way?...
In a transgenerational trauma - connection is reached by having trauma
symptoms; client experiences trauma symptoms without physical
participation
in a trauma event. That serves the need of belonging.
We - facilitators - try to help to find/reconstruct another way of
loving
connection between client and his/her ancestors, not through painful
repetition of trauma in generations. Again, the first is connection.
In
relation to our - facilitators and therapists - ability to detach, I
keep
(among other things) a perspective of unknown.
We talk a lot about how to help (and off course that's extremely
valuable),
but there is always the other side of healing - interference with
client's
fate, which we don't know.
That's one of my precious lessons from Bert - don't interfere with
client's
fate.
Which is not taken literally off course - Bert was showing examples
where a
recognized fate was acknowledged and respected, and it was clear that
nothing else could be done (or nothing else could be done in that
moment),
and other examples where it was attempted (by facilitator) a very
subtle
movement in helping client to reach beyond...
Fate (in terms of an unconscious need of following, identified also
unconsciously as a way of belonging) is an uneasy factor in the
context of
helping...kind of a shadow, while we prefer to seek a
light...
It'd be interesting to hear what are your - that forum members -
thoughts
about Fate...and how we could skilfully operate in that dimension...
Regards
--
Hania
*Growth does not come from striving to be a better person. Growth
comes from
allowing your ego's story to drop away. (author unknown)*
On 16 September 2011 18:11, Kay Needham
<familyconstellationinfo@xxxxxxxxx>wrote:
**meditating on this
Hello Anni and all,
Anni thankyou for sharing this case with us. I have been
for a few days and am touched by your involvement here. I agreethat the
intention of any healer serves the client best when the "individualsphysical
holistic personhood" is seen and respected. The representation of
1. the
2. themental
3. the emotionalmany
4. the spiritual
is, I feel definately the way to go. I observe that the focus of
healing intentions, is support and a loving environment forhealing. I would
like to add another dimension that actually underpins the healingof all
trauma, and that is the dimension of awareness or detatchedobservation.
We cannot change what happened but we can help our clients todetach from
the trauma. That is to seperate or attain distance from it. In thegaining
of distance we are able to gain perspective, recollect ourselftotally, and
move forward, leaving the trauma behind. Love is good howeverdetachment is
the only way out.witness", of all of
To be able to observe that:
I am not the body
I am not the mind
I am not this emotion............is helpful.
To give our clients an experience of "I am the
this.....................is to help them know the dignity of"detatched
observation"..........separation is a natural consequence of this.observation enters
Witnessing via meditative awareness utilizing detactched
into a field of non-duality or no polarity. So does the field oflove and
ancesteral support that you describe. All healing happens here. Ofcourse
the facilitator is only able to orchestrate these fields whenbeing in a
state of detatched observation oneself.Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 8:17 AM
Kind regards
Sadhana
From: anni <annimukkala@xxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: epigenetics and trauma: And what
can we do
to aleviate this?????to the
Hello to all, I have had several private conversations in addition
posts here and I want to thank each of you who have taken the timeto offer
both your personal support and ideas in this particularcircumstance.
personhood. By
I often work systemically with the individual's holistic
this I mean that I set up constellation that show representationsfor the
various aspects of the individual such as the physical, mental,emotional,
spiritual, etc. With this in mind, I then work through each ofthese aspects
to allow solution to manifest. I have begun to work with my clientin this
style of work but only at an extremely gentle and intuitive level.The
emotional and physical aspects of the trauma seem to be the firstthings I
amsupporting. I have used the healing touch of gentle Reiki with her to
calm and ease the trauma response. This has so far provenbeneficial to her.
will try to
Some have suggested many other simple and supportive actions I
provide and implement.not look
I am thinking that I may hold a constellation setting where we do
at victim-perpetrator energy but allow healing energies to berepresented in
the circle. My thought is that if we hold representation forhealing love
and joy as well as representation for ancestors who are able tosupport this
family then perhaps the "whole" will embrace the father, motherand baby in
an ocean of safety and wellness. My intention in holding thecircle would
not be to heal the perpetrator-victim dynamic but rather to offerthis baby
a safe and gentle protective field. Has anyone done this kind ofconstellation?
of love.
I always work with the intention of my service to be the landscape
I work to loving solutions to issues and I believe that love canheal. Not
to do anything here, for me, in this situation would be to deny myown
opportunity to allow love to become more real in this family. So,I move
forward and continue to ask you all to hold the manifestation ofhealing
love in your thoughts for a moment as you might read this. Alreadysome have
offered support by prayers to the ancestors. I believe this to bea strong
and effective action.family
I am doing this work pro bono, of course, and last night another
trauma developed in this family system. May my speaking here ofthis, be of
benefit, sustenance and unity.support just
Thank you to all who have read these posts. You are offering
by your presence. Thanks.Hoping to talk more to more of you. Anni
wrote:
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "anni" <annimukkala@...>
as we
This is an interesting article and points to the problems we see
work in the family systems. The trauma of a pregnant woman mayshift the
epigenetics of her child with which she is pregnant. My goalalways in doing
constellations is to find the love oriented solution that mightoffer hope
and change. To find the problem, of course, is only diagnostic innature.
client
Having said this, I still would like some input on the current
with whom I am working and who is 6 plus months pregnant. Since myclient
had a recent and severe trauma, there is a possibilitychild she is pregnant with may be
that the
affected. Is there, then, any
solution that we can offer her for this possibility? I will beworking with
her to deal with the trauma response she is having and will laterlook at
family systemic issues, but for now, my prime concern is exactlyhow to
offer her and the baby with which she is pregnant some way ofaltering the
severity of what the child may be inheriting. Hmmm? Can we dothis? Are we
allowed? Is this any different than treating an illness when it isat an
extremely early stage of development? What are some specifics thatmay alter
the outcome so this baby is not born with difficulties from thistrauma? If
we can work with trauma years after it occurs, how do we worktrauma in a
pregnancy in the immediate aftermath of the trauma?after
wrote:
Anni
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Gail A" <gail_m_allen@>
Posting a link to a recent study involving children born soon
9/11 and looking at inherited stress.grounding to
http://www.genomeweb.com//node/978919
We see this inheritance regularly in Constellations - it's
see the research that confirms it.
Gail
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