Hello Kay and All
I though to add a remark to what you Kay said about detachment in healing
trauma.
The idea of detachment as gaining perspective is very close to my
mind/heart/soul, and I try to reach it in my work with clients, when there
is a place and time for it.
Only having a perspective gives us a space to acknowledge of WHAT IS, of
reality in us and in others.
But detachment in trauma primarily serves as a pathological symptom (one of
the core symptoms of PTSD) - as a trauma victim (in most cases) tries to
survive unbearable stress/shock by detaching (sometimes called as numbing,
disconnecting, disassociating).
Whatever would be the word of description - detaching/disconnecting is a
survival mechanism in a state of extreme danger, and for that it's good - to
serve a life preservation.
What trauma workers face in their work with traumatised people, one of the
most difficult points, is detachment and avoidance, and a need to connect
again to the body/soul to heal the trauma traits.
Many of my traumatised clients reported exactly that what you said Kay "I am
not the body, I am not the mind, I am not this emotion" - and it was their
way to detach from trauma (before counselling), which entrapped them
"forever" in the trauma ice cube.
In trauma healing - safe, loving connection is the biggest challenge, and it
must be achieved prior to any moving forward.
People who work in long term trauma therapy would see that for some clients
it would be never achieved - to find a safe, loving connection with their
own body/mind/soul. Traditional spiritual healers call that condition a
"lost soul" (and they would look where that soul, disconnected from the
body, went to, and they would try to retrieve the soul, which is connecting
back process) and I like to think about it in these terms.
How could you detach from body, mind and soul if that's already done?! And
connection is broken, sometimes in an irreparable way?...
In a transgenerational trauma - connection is reached by having trauma
symptoms; client experiences trauma symptoms without physical participation
in a trauma event. That serves the need of belonging.
We - facilitators - try to help to find/reconstruct another way of loving
connection between client and his/her ancestors, not through painful
repetition of trauma in generations. Again, the first is connection.
In relation to our - facilitators and therapists - ability to detach, I keep
(among other things) a perspective of unknown.
We talk a lot about how to help (and off course that's extremely valuable),
but there is always the other side of healing - interference with client's
fate, which we don't know.
That's one of my precious lessons from Bert - don't interfere with client's
fate.
Which is not taken literally off course - Bert was showing examples where a
recognized fate was acknowledged and respected, and it was clear that
nothing else could be done (or nothing else could be done in that moment),
and other examples where it was attempted (by facilitator) a very subtle
movement in helping client to reach beyond...
Fate (in terms of an unconscious need of following, identified also
unconsciously as a way of belonging) is an uneasy factor in the context of
helping...kind of a shadow, while we prefer to seek a light...
It'd be interesting to hear what are your - that forum members - thoughts
about Fate...and how we could skilfully operate in that dimension...
Regards
--
Hania
*Growth does not come from striving to be a better person. Growth comes from
allowing your ego's story to drop away. (author unknown)*
On 16 September 2011 18:11, Kay Needham
<familyconstellationinfo@xxxxxxxxx>wrote:
**
Hello Anni and all,
Anni thankyou for sharing this case with us. I have been meditating on this
for a few days and am touched by your involvement here. I agree that the
intention of any healer serves the client best when the "individuals
holistic personhood" is seen and respected. The representation of
1. the physical
2. the mental
3. the emotional
4. the spiritual
is, I feel definately the way to go. I observe that the focus of many
healing intentions, is support and a loving environment for healing. I would
like to add another dimension that actually underpins the healing of all
trauma, and that is the dimension of awareness or detatched observation.
We cannot change what happened but we can help our clients to detach from
the trauma. That is to seperate or attain distance from it. In the gaining
of distance we are able to gain perspective, recollect ourself totally, and
move forward, leaving the trauma behind. Love is good however detachment is
the only way out.
To be able to observe that:
I am not the body
I am not the mind
I am not this emotion............is helpful.
To give our clients an experience of "I am the witness", of all of
this.....................is to help them know the dignity of "detatched
observation"..........separation is a natural consequence of this.
Witnessing via meditative awareness utilizing detactched observation enters
into a field of non-duality or no polarity. So does the field of love and
ancesteral support that you describe. All healing happens here. Of course
the facilitator is only able to orchestrate these fields when being in a
state of detatched observation oneself.
Kind regards
Sadhana
From: anni <annimukkala@xxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 8:17 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: epigenetics and trauma: And what can we do
to aleviate this?????
Hello to all, I have had several private conversations in addition to the
posts here and I want to thank each of you who have taken the time to offer
both your personal support and ideas in this particular circumstance.
I often work systemically with the individual's holistic personhood. By
this I mean that I set up constellation that show representations for the
various aspects of the individual such as the physical, mental, emotional,
spiritual, etc. With this in mind, I then work through each of these aspects
to allow solution to manifest. I have begun to work with my client in this
style of work but only at an extremely gentle and intuitive level. The
emotional and physical aspects of the trauma seem to be the first things I
am supporting. I have used the healing touch of gentle Reiki with her to
calm and ease the trauma response. This has so far proven beneficial to her.
Some have suggested many other simple and supportive actions I will try to
provide and implement.
I am thinking that I may hold a constellation setting where we do not look
at victim-perpetrator energy but allow healing energies to be represented in
the circle. My thought is that if we hold representation for healing love
and joy as well as representation for ancestors who are able to support this
family then perhaps the "whole" will embrace the father, mother and baby in
an ocean of safety and wellness. My intention in holding the circle would
not be to heal the perpetrator-victim dynamic but rather to offer this baby
a safe and gentle protective field. Has anyone done this kind of
constellation?
I always work with the intention of my service to be the landscape of love.
I work to loving solutions to issues and I believe that love can heal. Not
to do anything here, for me, in this situation would be to deny my own
opportunity to allow love to become more real in this family. So, I move
forward and continue to ask you all to hold the manifestation of healing
love in your thoughts for a moment as you might read this. Already some have
offered support by prayers to the ancestors. I believe this to be a strong
and effective action.
I am doing this work pro bono, of course, and last night another family
trauma developed in this family system. May my speaking here of this, be of
benefit, sustenance and unity.
Thank you to all who have read these posts. You are offering support just
by your presence. Thanks. Hoping to talk more to more of you. Anni
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "anni" <annimukkala@...> wrote:
work in the family systems. The trauma of a pregnant woman may shift the
This is an interesting article and points to the problems we see as we
epigenetics of her child with which she is pregnant. My goal always in doing
constellations is to find the love oriented solution that might offer hope
and change. To find the problem, of course, is only diagnostic in nature.
with whom I am working and who is 6 plus months pregnant. Since my client
Having said this, I still would like some input on the current client
had a recent and severe trauma, there is a possibility
that the child she is pregnant with may be affected. Is there, then, anysolution that we can offer her for this possibility? I will be working with
her to deal with the trauma response she is having and will later look at
family systemic issues, but for now, my prime concern is exactly how to
offer her and the baby with which she is pregnant some way of altering the
severity of what the child may be inheriting. Hmmm? Can we do this? Are we
allowed? Is this any different than treating an illness when it is at an
extremely early stage of development? What are some specifics that may alter
the outcome so this baby is not born with difficulties from this trauma? If
we can work with trauma years after it occurs, how do we work trauma in a
pregnancy in the immediate aftermath of the trauma?
wrote:
Anni
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Gail A" <gail_m_allen@>
9/11 and looking at inherited stress.
Posting a link to a recent study involving children born soon after
see the research that confirms it.http://www.genomeweb.com//node/978919
We see this inheritance regularly in Constellations - it's grounding to
Gail
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