Hello All,
I've lived and grown through both transgenerational and childhood,
pattern-based trauma for much of my life. I would like to underscore
Hania's and Robert's comments about two different forms of
"detachment." One is truly "disassociation," a frozen estrangement
from parts of the self and often from body awareness in the first
place. The other is profoundly connected and aware while at the same
time solidly in the position of a witness to it all. In my earlier
(in my twenties) 7 years of Zen practice, I think I was in fact
strengthening the first, pathological form. That did not turn out so
well, since I ended up experiencing a kind of direct exposure to
divine (kundalini) energy that was filtered wholly through my own
buried trauma.
Staying connected to my body awareness now in mindfulness meditation
is still for me a first step and a first priority. Sometimes the
initial portion of any period of meditation is just getting that
going. Then only comes the ability to stay connected and witness--as
opposed to flipping off somewhere to avoid feelings of restlessness,
tension, or the pressure of daily to-do's in the body.
In regard to all this, I would like to recommend Dan Siegel's book
MINDSIGHT and/or his audio tapes THE NEUROBIOLOGY OF WE. There is a
simple, neurologically based explanation here of what happens to
memory formation during the freeze portion of the trauma response.
This easy to read (or listen to), non-technical material relates to
primary and secondary feelings (there may be a third kind--"recovered
implicit"), along with much on post natal attachment (more than one
kind of "interrupted movement"), and the social bonding circuits in
the brain. It may be that a child only builds an experience of self
AFTER modeling the self that Mother has. These are fascinating,
research-based ideas that are, in my opinion, very relevant to our work.
Dan Cohen and I will be talking about these things this Fall on the
free Constellation Call mentioned in my signature below. I'm usually
very careful about not promoting anything here, but, just for the
record, not only is this call free, but it is also not something that
has brought either one of us any influx of clients. So we are at this
point keeping it up as service to the community, and may have to let
it go at some point.
Best,
Michael
Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.reddyworks.com
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On Sep 20, 2011, at 10:50 PM, Hania Moser wrote:
Hello Kay and All
I though to add a remark to what you Kay said about detachment in
healing
trauma.
The idea of detachment as gaining perspective is very close to my
mind/heart/soul, and I try to reach it in my work with clients, when
there
is a place and time for it.
Only having a perspective gives us a space to acknowledge of WHAT
IS, of
reality in us and in others.
But detachment in trauma primarily serves as a pathological symptom
(one of
the core symptoms of PTSD) - as a trauma victim (in most cases)
tries to
survive unbearable stress/shock by detaching (sometimes called as
numbing,
disconnecting, disassociating).
Whatever would be the word of description - detaching/disconnecting
is a
survival mechanism in a state of extreme danger, and for that it's
good - to
serve a life preservation.
What trauma workers face in their work with traumatised people, one
of the
most difficult points, is detachment and avoidance, and a need to
connect
again to the body/soul to heal the trauma traits.
Many of my traumatised clients reported exactly that what you said
Kay "I am
not the body, I am not the mind, I am not this emotion" - and it was
their
way to detach from trauma (before counselling), which entrapped them
"forever" in the trauma ice cube.
In trauma healing - safe, loving connection is the biggest
challenge, and it
must be achieved prior to any moving forward.
People who work in long term trauma therapy would see that for some
clients
it would be never achieved - to find a safe, loving connection with
their
own body/mind/soul. Traditional spiritual healers call that
condition a
"lost soul" (and they would look where that soul, disconnected from
the
body, went to, and they would try to retrieve the soul, which is
connecting
back process) and I like to think about it in these terms.
How could you detach from body, mind and soul if that's already
done?! And
connection is broken, sometimes in an irreparable way?...
In a transgenerational trauma - connection is reached by having trauma
symptoms; client experiences trauma symptoms without physical
participation
in a trauma event. That serves the need of belonging.
We - facilitators - try to help to find/reconstruct another way of
loving
connection between client and his/her ancestors, not through painful
repetition of trauma in generations. Again, the first is connection.
In relation to our - facilitators and therapists - ability to
detach, I keep
(among other things) a perspective of unknown.
We talk a lot about how to help (and off course that's extremely
valuable),
but there is always the other side of healing - interference with
client's
fate, which we don't know.
That's one of my precious lessons from Bert - don't interfere with
client's
fate.
Which is not taken literally off course - Bert was showing examples
where a
recognized fate was acknowledged and respected, and it was clear that
nothing else could be done (or nothing else could be done in that
moment),
and other examples where it was attempted (by facilitator) a very
subtle
movement in helping client to reach beyond...
Fate (in terms of an unconscious need of following, identified also
unconsciously as a way of belonging) is an uneasy factor in the
context of
helping...kind of a shadow, while we prefer to seek a light...
It'd be interesting to hear what are your - that forum members -
thoughts
about Fate...and how we could skilfully operate in that dimension...
Regards
--
Hania
*Growth does not come from striving to be a better person. Growth
comes from
allowing your ego's story to drop away. (author unknown)*
On 16 September 2011 18:11, Kay Needham
<familyconstellationinfo@xxxxxxxxx>wrote:
**
Hello Anni and all,
Anni thankyou for sharing this case with us. I have been meditating
on this
for a few days and am touched by your involvement here. I agree
that the
intention of any healer serves the client best when the "individuals
holistic personhood" is seen and respected. The representation of
1. the physical
2. the mental
3. the emotional
4. the spiritual
is, I feel definately the way to go. I observe that the focus of many
healing intentions, is support and a loving environment for
healing. I would
like to add another dimension that actually underpins the healing
of all
trauma, and that is the dimension of awareness or detatched
observation.
We cannot change what happened but we can help our clients to
detach from
the trauma. That is to seperate or attain distance from it. In the
gaining
of distance we are able to gain perspective, recollect ourself
totally, and
move forward, leaving the trauma behind. Love is good however
detachment is
the only way out.
To be able to observe that:
I am not the body
I am not the mind
I am not this emotion............is helpful.
To give our clients an experience of "I am the witness", of all of
this.....................is to help them know the dignity of
"detatched
observation"..........separation is a natural consequence of this.
Witnessing via meditative awareness utilizing detactched
observation enters
into a field of non-duality or no polarity. So does the field of
love and
ancesteral support that you describe. All healing happens here. Of
course
the facilitator is only able to orchestrate these fields when being
in a
state of detatched observation oneself.
Kind regards
Sadhana
From: anni <annimukkala@xxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 8:17 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: epigenetics and trauma: And what
can we do
to aleviate this?????
Hello to all, I have had several private conversations in addition
to the
posts here and I want to thank each of you who have taken the time
to offer
both your personal support and ideas in this particular circumstance.
I often work systemically with the individual's holistic
personhood. By
this I mean that I set up constellation that show representations
for the
various aspects of the individual such as the physical, mental,
emotional,
spiritual, etc. With this in mind, I then work through each of
these aspects
to allow solution to manifest. I have begun to work with my client
in this
style of work but only at an extremely gentle and intuitive level.
The
emotional and physical aspects of the trauma seem to be the first
things I
am supporting. I have used the healing touch of gentle Reiki with
her to
calm and ease the trauma response. This has so far proven
beneficial to her.
Some have suggested many other simple and supportive actions I will
try to
provide and implement.
I am thinking that I may hold a constellation setting where we do
not look
at victim-perpetrator energy but allow healing energies to be
represented in
the circle. My thought is that if we hold representation for
healing love
and joy as well as representation for ancestors who are able to
support this
family then perhaps the "whole" will embrace the father, mother and
baby in
an ocean of safety and wellness. My intention in holding the circle
would
not be to heal the perpetrator-victim dynamic but rather to offer
this baby
a safe and gentle protective field. Has anyone done this kind of
constellation?
I always work with the intention of my service to be the landscape
of love.
I work to loving solutions to issues and I believe that love can
heal. Not
to do anything here, for me, in this situation would be to deny my
own
opportunity to allow love to become more real in this family. So, I
move
forward and continue to ask you all to hold the manifestation of
healing
love in your thoughts for a moment as you might read this. Already
some have
offered support by prayers to the ancestors. I believe this to be a
strong
and effective action.
I am doing this work pro bono, of course, and last night another
family
trauma developed in this family system. May my speaking here of
this, be of
benefit, sustenance and unity.
Thank you to all who have read these posts. You are offering
support just
by your presence. Thanks. Hoping to talk more to more of you. Anni
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "anni" <annimukkala@...>
wrote:
work in the family systems. The trauma of a pregnant woman may
This is an interesting article and points to the problems we see
as we
shift the
epigenetics of her child with which she is pregnant. My goal always
in doing
constellations is to find the love oriented solution that might
offer hope
and change. To find the problem, of course, is only diagnostic in
nature.
with whom I am working and who is 6 plus months pregnant. Since my
Having said this, I still would like some input on the current
client
client
had a recent and severe trauma, there is a possibility
that the child she is pregnant with may be affected. Is there,solution that we can offer her for this possibility? I will be
then, any
working with
her to deal with the trauma response she is having and will later
look at
family systemic issues, but for now, my prime concern is exactly
how to
offer her and the baby with which she is pregnant some way of
altering the
severity of what the child may be inheriting. Hmmm? Can we do this?
Are we
allowed? Is this any different than treating an illness when it is
at an
extremely early stage of development? What are some specifics that
may alter
the outcome so this baby is not born with difficulties from this
trauma? If
we can work with trauma years after it occurs, how do we work
trauma in a
pregnancy in the immediate aftermath of the trauma?
wrote:
Anni
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Gail A" <gail_m_allen@>
9/11 and looking at inherited stress.
Posting a link to a recent study involving children born soon after
see the research that confirms it.http://www.genomeweb.com//node/978919
We see this inheritance regularly in Constellations - it's
grounding to
Gail
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**
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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