Very dear Anni
You are the right one! I am comforted that you are gentle, supportive,
respectful, and do not stand in young lady's own best ways for her and her
family supported for sure by her own Ancestors and the beyond.
I trust that the "The Bigger hands" have put her into the service of your
smaller hands already knowing that you know how to be with this particular
situation. She would not come to you otherwise if you would not have been
safe. Thank you Anni for your wisdom heart.
Thank you also for so many of you who have contributed to this sharing. I
have been deeply moved and enriched. It is a great resource for me too.
This topic has particularly touched me as a family secret so recently have
been brought to the surface and healing is in motion. What has been really
touching is this painful event for a family member has brought my family
even closer together. Together, we have agreed to support this family member
in the healing process.
blessings and appreciation
Anutosh
On Sat, Sep 24, 2011 at 10:56 AM, anni <annimukkala@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
**
Hello, I have been reading this thread with an intent to discern from many
thoughts what exactly it is that will fit this particular situation. I am
grateful for the clarification by Chris and Michael to clarify the vast
difference between dissociation that is the creative mechanism that allows
us to endure trauma and continue in our day to day life and the expansive
and unifying association with the greater force of life that enables us to
see the whole from a perspective that is wider and more inclusive. That
terminology and understanding link these two perspectives that are in no way
similar is a common error and one that may have detrimental effects.
The physical aspects that are prevalent in the dissociative method of
coping with trauma need resolution and for some this is a process that can
involve years of healing work. There is no quick fix. However, I view
dissociation as a creative way of coping that has an immediate benefit. It,
however, at some point, needs to be led to a point of resolution. Keeping
trauma in a secretive, dissociated perspective is not healing. Quite the
contrary. Hellinger's work with the word YES is the kind of inclusive
picture that is required for healing to proceed forward.
Gary, you always speak with wisdom of the greater whole and your inclusion
of all is, of course, the necessary perspective for healing to occur. For my
client, I am also aware of greater cultural dynamics that may evolve as we
begin to see the roots of this current situation. Too rush the process is
not in good order for the baby. So these constellations that involve
perpetrator and victim and great loyalties and entanglements are on the
horizon and in the field of intention that I hold in a field of healing
love.
I hold my client in a place of honour and dignity and see her motherhood
and child held safely within her own energetic field. This is important to
see. The more I see her with honour and dignity the less I am apt to think
that I am in the role of the bigger helper. I am only a channel, a resource,
a conduit. I am not the healer or the helper. I only serve her as a means to
healing as she seeks it. The healing is in the greater realm and it only
comes through me to her as she seeks it.
Today I read a *Saami proverb that perhaps says a lot about my
philosophical perspective on situations where people find themselves in
distress. Things such as homelessness, addictions, violence, poverty and the
like often find persons in distress. Western culture views success as a
source of pride and the described distresses as a source of shame. The
culture from which I come does not see the distresses of life the same way.
This proverb has within it a sense of my approach to constellation work. I
quote from a man named Jan Hansen a fellow Saami:
Saami proverb: I bædest hæppad, ige jabmemest gudne - Distress has no
shame, death no glory.
I want to say thank you to each person who wrote on this thread and who has
also sent me private messages. I humbly acknowledge each word as a gift of
love from your hearts.
Go well today, Anni
*Saami are the indigenous people of the Arctic in Norway, Sweden, Finland
and Russia. My ancestors are from Finnish Lapland, the Kemi Saami people.
