Thanks for this discussion!
I appreciate this quote from Bert Hellinger: “Giving up wanting to help or
to rescue people is essential if you sincerely respect them.”
Warmly, Diana Claire Douglas
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, October 9, 2020 9:37 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Highly traumatized
Hey Elmar,
I deeply appreciate Erin's approach which to me
feels like a form of "agreeing to what is"
This agreement is actually the initial part of the process of surrender
and letting go - a powerful healing movement when
the person comes to terms with the frozen pain of the past and
allows it to dissipate thru non-resistance.
But the resistance to letting go - in the form of "nothing-works-
for-me" and the helplessness and rage behind it has to be
given its due. That resistance and hopelessness has long
been a coping mechanism which helped her survive. Let's hear from
and honor that part that is in her and us as well.
Letting go of that defense might mean facing unbearable pain.
Is the client supported enough and able to take in enough support
so she can start to let go of her defenses and confirm she will
survive doing so? This is where the wisdom of field informs what
is possible.
Warmly
Harrison Snow
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> > on behalf of erin lewis
erinjoylewis@xxxxxxxxx <mailto:erinjoylewis@xxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> >
Sent: Thursday, October 8, 2020 9:32 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> >
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Highly traumatized
I work alot with trauma cases and in this case she needs to be right -
nothing has worked for her. I would just honour her stance and sit quietly
with her as she feels heard and then the fight response can soothe. Then
often there is a surrendering towards some relief. Or not. Her life, her
choice.
Ngā Mihi, Erin Lewis
<https://docs.google.com/uc?export=download&id=0B9CFDAYvxfMyaG1CUnY2SkV5dkU&;
revid=0B9CFDAYvxfMyMFlCa2NONDRoalFFY1Q5bXh1WHRlSFl5eE9ZPQ>
www.erinjoylewis.com <http://www.erinjoylewis.com>
Erin Lewis Constellations
<https://www.facebook.com/ErinLewisConstellations/?ref=bookmarks> on
facebook
027 431 5575 Phone or text
On Fri, Oct 9, 2020 at 11:52 AM Elmar Dornberger
elmar@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:elmar@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> > wrote:
I am wondering if anyone has worked with a highly traumatizes person.
The trauma stems from early childhood abuse by a narcissistic mother and an
absent father. This person has no connections to feelings and sensations.
All her reactions are either emotional flooding or anger.
She has gone to a massage therapist for 3 years and would feel exactly the
same after every treatment as before.
She was her mother's slave, cooking, cleaning, caretaking, etc. She had no
friends and never developed a sense of herself. She is successful in
business working with numbers. What she wants is a family live. Anything I
suggest or do with her she rejects or claims she has done (everything)
before and nothing works.
I am not a beginner at this I am a Psychotherapist and a Constellation
Facilitator for over 20 years, and yet this is a new situation.
Yours,
Elmar
