Speaking of Vietnam, here are some links that I sometimes share when I'm
doing introductions to ancestry healing and/or writing about same:
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/25/health/ptsd-trauma-genetics-study/
http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/12/health/ptsd-genes/index.html
It's always good to hear how people get so much from the conferences,
sometimes in suprising and unexpected ways.
For those people who are interested in learning from and being with Anngwyn
St. Just, she will be a featured pre-conference presenter and keynoter at
the North American Systemic Constellations Conference Oct. 5-8 in Virginia
Beach, Va.
See http://www.nasconstellations.org/pre-conference-workshops.html for
details.
Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP
Alternative psychotherapy, training & classes
Lancaster, PA
+1 (717) 466-0788
www.realtruekaren.com
Register now!
North American Systemic Constellations Conference
Oct. 5-8 - Virginia Beach, Va.
www.nasconstellations.org
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Sent: Friday, June 9, 2017 1:26 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Dad aroused by daughter
Will have to check out that book of Anngwn's
I was surpised how deepy I felt Ed Ticks vets jouney home work
at our last conference in San Deigo. I participated as a vet in that ritual
but was not a combat vet although I did serve in the infantry in peace time.
However my dad was in WWII and Vietnam
so maybe that's where the intensity of feeling was coming from...
Thanks for the insight
Harrison
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
on behalf of Dr Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, June 8, 2017 3:32 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fwd: [ConstellationTalk] Dad aroused by daughter
I have the books at home and Anngwn's in Europe but she'll likely get back
to you before I can. But it's the book on systemic traumas. Amazing stuff
that is just NOT talked about. I'll be home around 7:30 Eastern and will do
my best to find it. By Sunday for sure.
It was such a burden for those young men and some women who didn't usually
know they carried it, sad.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
Begin forwarded message:
From: "Leslie Nipps lnipps@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]"
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: June 8, 2017 at 1:35:22 PM EDT
To: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Dad aroused by daughter
Reply-To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Liz or Anngwyn,
Could either of you say a bit more about this? Ive been noodling in this
territory for a while as my father was on a minesweeper somewhere in the
Pacific (no idea where) when the bombs were dropped when he was 20 years
old, and get the gist of what you are saying, but would love to hear a bit
more:
"Anngwyn's brilliant writings on soldiers in the South Pacific when the bomb
was dropped.
Thanks!
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
Trust as a Way of Life
www.conviviumconstellations.com
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Jun 8, 2017, at 8:58 AM, Dr Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
And again thank you all for your rich feedback. As an expert in epigenetics
this stuff reaches beyond culture and is biologically transmitted across
generations. I have three clients now with PTSD two of whom never
experienced a trauma--the mother of one woman was a Holocaust survivor and
thanks to Anngwyn's brilliant writings on soldiers in the South Pacific when
the bomb was dropped I realized that her "hate" for her (Jewish) father, a
soldier on that fateful day, who was stationed I believe on Iwo Jima (can't
remember the exact island) could be traced to his systemic guilt.
She'd been in therapy her entire life, so crippled she never held a job. But
with constellations she has reconciled the traumas she carried from both
sides.
The man I wrote about is finally willing to do the work. But I wonder if his
lustful feelings towards his daughter were a reaction to his father's
sexuality.
We've certainly covered a lot here.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 8, 2017, at 10:51 AM, Joshua Alexander egomagickian@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Liz, thanks for bringing this up. The conversation generated has been very
useful to me.
Re your original question, "whether or not to use this topic with a group of
newcomers," I think that depends on two things: 1) you and the stance you
are able to hold with it, 2) how important you think it will be to have
experienced reps to cleanly and clearly hold the roles.
Re #1, I think this is where Leslie's comments were really great. If you
feel comfortable holding a topic like this for the group then great. It
sounds like you have a lot of training and experience and so have probably
done a lot of looking at your own system around this kind of topic as well
as many others. For facilitators who don't have that background, doing this
kind of self-check could be critical.
I do think it's important to be able to bring topics like this to groups and
hold them in nonjudgmental, matter-of-fact ways. It's exactly because
there's so much stigma around them that people want and need us (consciously
or otherwise) to offer spaces where sensitive topics can be dealt with
compassionately and effectively.
Thanks again for bringing this topic to this group.
Warmly,
Josh
On Wed, Jun 7, 2017 6:37 PM, Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
Well then its good it got clarified because that was never the situation.
In fact quite the contrary as is true in many families with huge systemic
traumas the lines of communication are often badly broken. He doesnt know
why she isnt talking to him or what he allegedly did to upset herand she
is refusing to tell anyoneeven her mother whom the daughter claims is a
saint!
The issue was that she was furious with dad. And the fury directed at dad
broke through his protective layer and he found those buried feelings and
all I was asking about was whether or not to use this topic with a group of
newcomers. A couple of you got it but alas I guess I wasnt clear. The good
news is that it stimulated a great deal of discussion on a very touchy
topic, And one we in the allegedly civilized world dont want to admit
exists.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 7, 2017, at 9:20 PM, Laure Porché laure.porche@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi Liz, I was also confused by your original post: if he hasn't shared his
feelings with his daughter, why is she furious with him? I thought it was a
result of him saying it to her. I think that's what Logan was responding to.
Blessings,
Laure
On Jun 7, 2017 19:21, "Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]" <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
My goodness Logan, the transcript I shared was from the workshop on Trauma
given by one of the earliest facilitators who studied directly with
Hellinger in the early days. Berthold was also one of my earliest teachers
as most of my training f was in Germany and other parts of Europe. So this
transcript is NOT to be confused with a conversation a real father has with
his real daughter, but rather was transcribed from a constellation that
Berthold Ulsamer set up for one of the attendees at the two part traininga
week in December followed by a week in May. This may not even have been an
actual piece of personal work that someone asked to do but it could very
well have been a demonstration of how to handle a difficult situation in a
constellations settingwe were facilitators seeking advanced training in
trauma from him.
No one is inferring, and certainly not me, that I have my client say these
things to his real daughter! Youre quite right that would be a violation.
But if these difficult topics cannot be addressed using representatives to
gain insight into what might have taken place or to reconcile the situation
which is what happens in the post of Bertholds work. In the same manner as
we would return mothers fate to her, the person to whom it rightfully
belongs, so the father admitted his feelings, and that he also had feelings
towards his mother, but he separated and said to daughterI leave you with
what is yours and I take with me what is mine {in this case the sexual
attraction} and thereby reconciles the guiltwhether the guilt is over an
actual event or merely the guilty thoughts.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 7, 2017, at 6:48 PM, Logan Sparks sparksrl@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello,
My name is Logan. I am a facilitator in Albuquerque, NM (and also very
mobile). I know many of you in this group. So it is nice to see your names
and comments popping up in my inbox.
If you don't mind me jumping on in this thread, I noticed that it seemed
that the father, in this case, admitted his feelings of sexual attraction
towards his daugher, verbally. After that, it seems, there was a discussion
about whether he commited any violations of his daughter after that, that he
may not consciously remember.
To be frank, telling your child that you desire her sexually is already a
violation. The daughter stepping away would be a very natural response.
In systemic work, I feel that we are used to high levels of disclosure and
maybe we don't always think about these elements of what is best kept silet,
and out of the field of a child who cannot and should not carry the burden
of a parent's sexuality. Hellinger has said that often it is best for a
person who has cheated to keep the guilt to him or herself rather than
telling the partner. The reason being that this puts systemic pressure on
the non-cheating partner as they must then respond, forgive, etc...thus
somehow placing responsibility with them, rather than where responsibility
rests.
This is not meant to at all be crtical of the wonderful work being done in
this case (most likely the situation was previous to the constellatino, I am
guessing) but just something important that I want to share. I have seen
this dynamic a few times, and there is also a value for non-disclosure as a
way of respecting the place of a child in the system.
In much of the constellation work I have done, and seen others do, I am very
aware that many people still do not fully see the child int he child's
place, something particularly rife in western culture and in the U.S. where
children are often sexualized. I have seen that facilitators, for example,
helping me to work with my parents, unconsciously seem to think that, as a
child, my representative should be doing the right things in order to make
the parents love him. With others it is the same. There is a pressure for
the child to surrender to the parents etc...in a way that sort of assumes
that I am increasingly seeing how not engaging in this way leads to
resolutions that may be slower, but go deeper, with the child finding his or
her place more naturally and truly in healthy order, rather than holding a
tense space on behalf of a client and a group of adults that have been
gathered together to fix something.
Guarind this sacred child-space seems to work real miracles.
Thank you,
Logan
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