I don't suppose Hellinger used that good Irish saying "No good deed goes
unpunished!" Irony aside, self-sacrificing mothers can demand/command
loyalty in family systems that covers up their own transgenerational
traumas passed on to the next generation... especially if the mother (or
father) has put aside their own health, well-being, healing, leaving a
relationship and dealing with composting their own muck, "for the
children's sake". Unspoken resentment, inappropriate expectations and
projections, rigid moral imperatives about sexuality backed by divine
right,.. you can all imagine the list of more obvious 'punishments'.
In this particular case, I'd be interested in at least leaving space for
the transgenerational trauma on both sides.. From an earlier extensive and
well-respected national survey here in Canada (Badgley Report) it's *one in
two *of girls under 14 who have had some exposure to the continuum of
sexual abuse (almost all of it by men) and *one in three* of boys (almost
all by men)... That number appears to have dropped by the 2014 Community
Health Survey.. however that smaller survey left out indigenous populations
where the rate of sexual abuse for girls is 8 out of 10, 6 out of 10 for
boys.
One conclusion is that most 'saints' would have had exposure to early
childhood sexual abuse, however that was handled. These numbers also
underline the critical importance of dealing with men's sexual responses
and traumatic re-enactments in relation to children, transgenerationaly.
Bruce's post reveals how systemic constellations work can contribute in
that.
Warmly
Eimear
Eimear O'Neill PhD
www.eimearoneill.com
‘If we surrendered/ to earth’s intelligence, we could rise up rooted, like
trees."Rainer Maria Rilke:
On 8 June 2017 at 00:48, Anngwyn anngwyn@xxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk] <
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Greetings from Budapest,
Years ago I seem to remember Hellinger saying something
interesting and important about parents who are regarded as "saints" but
I cannot remember what that was. Does anyone have that information ?
Warm Regards
Anngwyn St. Just Ph.D
www.acst-international.com
http://anngwyn.wisrville.org
