Dear Liz,
Thank you for your very prompt reply and engagement. To clarify things my
only interest is awareness, I am not interested in judgements per se. Freud
is my hero yet things developed further in the past 100 years. I have no
doubt that in fact you are assisting your client with the best of
intentions and clearly he does trust you to share his feelings so deeply.
Subtleties however do fascinate me to the extent they contribute to
awareness. "Too defended" does make me feel uneasy because of its
implications. It is not so much finding fault but inviting exploration and
investigation that I find useful. I do understand that my communication can
be seen as confronting from time to time, however I do have a measure of
trust in the integrity and strength of out community here to face the
music and keep on learning.
Best wishes to you and to all,
Robert
On Fri, Jun 9, 2017 at 9:55 AM, Dr Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Well I can only guess that you are from a school that is anti-Freudian but
isn't your comment to me just ever so judgmental since you appear to be
critical of my use of the word defended.
This is a man who is highly defended if you were originally trained in
Freudian analytic psychology as I was. But if you read through this entire
thread carefully you will see that I've also suggested that he's split off
in the way described by Franz Rupert. Furthermore as someone so aptly
pointed out this is a man who's highly dissociated.
So if you find fault with my choice of words then feel free to judge me.
But this same highly defended man trusts me sufficiently due to much hard
word and building of trust to share with me the unthinkable to say nothing
of the unmentionable --that he has feelings of lust for his grown daughter.
So if I am judging him I'm so sorry. It was my believe that I'm assisting
him to heal his transgenerational wounds from not just his own early life
but the trauma he carries of the ancestors.
Liz Jelinek, PhD
On Jun 8, 2017, at 7:40 PM, Robert Grant erebees@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello All,
Just a subtle point I find hard to resist making. "client has been too
defended to participate" somehow makes me feel uneasy. Is there a subtle
implication of blame or guilt? People often feel unsafe for many very good
reasons, too defended feels judgemental. Please correct me if I am mistaken.
Best wishes,
Robert
On Fri, Jun 9, 2017 at 1:44 AM, Dr Liz Jelinek lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Interesting thx. This is especially relevant because I've been convinced
from the earliest meeting with this man that his father, a college
professor at a major university, was gay and that the wife/mother was his
cover. It's never come up in a constellation as my client has been too
defended to participate.
Interesting. Thx
Liz Jelinek, PhD
