Assuming my memory serves me….
I believe Bert Hellinger, cautioned about “saints” as they are more dangerous
than perpetrators. I think the story that he shared to demonstrate this point
was the woman who in her righteous religious beliefs turned in her husband as
being a homosexual to the Nazi.
My interpretation was that she hid her anger or hatred of her husband with the
accusation.
Rosalba
rstocco@xxxxxxxxxx <mailto:rstocco@xxxxxxxxxx>
rosalbastocco.com <http://rosalbastocco.com/>
Rosalba Stocco, MSW, RSW
EMDR, SE, Systemic Constellations
Board Member, North American Systemic Constellations (NASC)
“Creating educational conferences, events and activities that expand the
understanding of Systemic Constellations.”
Connect@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:Connect@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
NASConstellations.org <http://nasconstellations.org/>
World Peace begins with me and you.
On Jun 8, 2017, at 8:16 AM, 'Eimear O'Neill' eimear@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:eimear@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>> wrote:
I don't suppose Hellinger used that good Irish saying "No good deed goes
unpunished!" Irony aside, self-sacrificing mothers can demand/command loyalty
in family systems that covers up their own transgenerational traumas passed
on to the next generation... especially if the mother (or father) has put
aside their own health, well-being, healing, leaving a relationship and
dealing with composting their own muck, "for the children's sake". Unspoken
resentment, inappropriate expectations and projections, rigid moral
imperatives about sexuality backed by divine right,.. you can all imagine the
list of more obvious 'punishments'.
In this particular case, I'd be interested in at least leaving space for the
transgenerational trauma on both sides.. From an earlier extensive and
well-respected national survey here in Canada (Badgley Report) it's one in
two of girls under 14 who have had some exposure to the continuum of sexual
abuse (almost all of it by men) and one in three of boys (almost all by
men)... That number appears to have dropped by the 2014 Community Health
Survey.. however that smaller survey left out indigenous populations where
the rate of sexual abuse for girls is 8 out of 10, 6 out of 10 for boys.
One conclusion is that most 'saints' would have had exposure to early
childhood sexual abuse, however that was handled. These numbers also
underline the critical importance of dealing with men's sexual responses and
traumatic re-enactments in relation to children, transgenerationaly. Bruce's
post reveals how systemic constellations work can contribute in that.
Warmly
Eimear
Eimear O'Neill PhD
www.eimearoneill.com <http://www.eimearoneill.com/>
‘If we surrendered/ to earth’s intelligence, we could rise up rooted, like
trees."Rainer Maria Rilke:
On 8 June 2017 at 00:48, Anngwyn anngwyn@xxxxxxx <mailto:anngwyn@xxxxxxx>
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>> wrote:
Greetings from Budapest,
Years ago I seem to remember Hellinger saying something
interesting and important about parents who are regarded as "saints" but I
cannot remember what that was. Does anyone have that information ?
Warm Regards
Anngwyn St. Just Ph.D
www.acst-international.com <http://www.acst-international.com/>
http://anngwyn.wisrville.org ;<http://anngwyn.wisrville.org/>
