Hi Everyone,
“to get people to some core truths, and jolt them out”
I am a bit vary of the “jolt them out” approach. In all fairness at that
point I would like to invite the facilitator to explore in a constellation
his/her need to jolt. Yes, facilitating safety and confidence and an offer
to look is my preferred way.
And this also takes me to the point Vivian Broughton makes about some
(many) facilitators “knowing for sure” what is going on.
http://www.vivianbroughton.com/?p=836
As mentioned before we organise great conferences and talkfests but there
seems to be a general reluctance to undertake regular, dedicated, on going
and frequent peer to peer practice meetings apart from some ad hoc,
basically half hearted arrangements – at least in Australia. Maybe on some
level we do not feel safe enough, confident enough? Maybe it is easier,
more rewarding and less trouble to assist others? Maybe on a deeper level
we do not trust our peers? Or maybe we are already so happy that we do not
need it.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Tue, Mar 15, 2016 at 3:13 AM, Harrison Snow teambuilder@xxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Interesting topic Steve. Shame and guilt are powerful emotions with deep
and often hidden roots
When you say “a confrontative type of approach” I wonder to what purpose?
Most people have defensives to protect their vulnerable and often
regressed parts from being shamed
or feeling the shame and guilt those parts carry, perhaps even out of
loyalty to another.
Breaking down the defenses forcefully could re-traumatize the person
rather than reassure and resource
the wounded part so it can see, feel, acknowledge and release the old
weight of shame.
The first rule I believe, “is do no harm” There may be exceptions but
if the person is ready to do the work then we work with them; If not then
its up to the person to make that leap of faith.
Best
Harrison Snow
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Windows 10
*From: *Steve Vinay Gunther spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
*Sent: *Monday, March 14, 2016 10:58 AM
*To: *ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*Subject: *[ConstellationTalk] Shame
Hey folks
I wanted to raise a professional issue.
There are many different styles of constellation facilitation. From one
point of view, they are all welcome.
At the same time, I wonder how people feel about facilitation which
utilises shame.
Especially in the 60’s and 70’s, many forms of therapy used a
confrontative type of approach to get people to some core truths, and jolt
them out of their less functional patterns of communication.
In this century, a lot of therapies have moved towards a more ‘relational’
approach, which often is informed by current understanding of the effect of
shame, and the importance of understanding this in a therapeutic or
teaching type of interaction.
However, there are constellation facilitators who are not therapists, and
perhaps do not see Constellation work as necessarily needing to reference
therapy theory or practices. And constellation facilitators from different
cultures have different views on how to move people through their process;
some cultural styles may be more ‘robust’.
This is not just an abstract question. There are examples where
facilitators use confrontative encounters in a constellation context.
I am interested in how others see this, and to what degree there may be
culturally based views operating in our underlying assumptions about
matters such as this. For those who dont see constellations as necessarily
having to reference the world of psychotherapy, then what are the views
about the use of shame.
I reflect on these things, as most of my constellation work is done in
Asian cultures. On the one hand there is a particular kind of sensitivity
to shame. But in other ways, attitudes differ from the west regarding
teaching, as Confucian style approaches are traditionally more vertical. At
the same time, my understanding of shame is that it is a universally
experienced social emotion, which is not generally helpful in learning
contexts.
Vinay
